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August 2005 August 10thRock and roll music! It's all about heart, soul, passion, aggression, happy, sad … all rolled into one! I'm so f*#%ing honored and proud to be part of it! Rock music truly is the most powerful thing in the world. When it sinks its fangs into me, I feel possessed. Everything planned on stage gets thrown completely out the window. I can't f*%^ing contain the monster! Rock on! August 2005 August 7thThis week I'm singing "It’s All Over Now" by The Rolling Stones. Singing The Stones… now that's Rock ’n Roll--And I like it!
The competition is heating up and I'm chillin’. Got a great song, making it my own, I couldn't be happier. Considering I need a solid performance, not looking to be on the elimination show Wednesday night. Feels great knowing for this song I can simply be me--Don't need a vocal coach for this one baby. It’s all Brandon Calhoun. Finally, I feel like people can see the real me. It’s great to do some arranging as well. The feel is quite different from the original version--dig it! August 2005 August 4thBeing in the bottom 3 sucks! I'm confident that confidence and self doubt are the reason I ended there. There is no question I have the tools to be the lead singer of INXS. It's putting it all together--voice, performance, attitude, the whole entire Package. After the Wednesday performance I realized a valuable thing--it’s much tougher to step out of my comfort zone than I thought. In that I mean, breaking old habits. I can't sing aggressively every song. Part of me is fortunate to have been part of the bottom 3, which is totally insane. A calming comes over you up there facing elimination. Now I know what to expect. I don't fear it…which I think will help me moving forward in this competition. August 2005 August 3rdThis week was my best performance yet. I really felt the song "If You Could Only See" by Tonic. I was much more focused and settled. I think it has to do with working with such great people from cast members, to the house band, to vocal coach Ron Anderson. I'm feeling a new artist in me. I'm starting to feel more grounded here at the mansion as well. I can feel my creative writing side kicking in. It's funny how I work. Because I'm not a musical genius -- far from it -- I use my mood swings to generate melodies and music. I write straight from feel. August 2005 July 30thBeen feeling ill recently so I've been sleeping a lot. Getting excited to perform. I feel I have something to prove considering last week wasn't my strongest vocal stage showing.
The mansion is filled with positive energy approaching the performance; I hear everyone working on their songs as they stroll by the poolside, sit in their room or while they eat. Me, I'm sitting on my bed working on finding a middle voice so I can sing my next song without straining too much. After working with the vocal coach (my 1st vocal lesson ever!), I realized I have a chest! I have lots of work to do to become a complete singer … Hell Yeah. Singing is such a wonderful, powerful thing. And to be able to do it at this level is everyone's dream. But, also it's an adjustment, a lot of work to unlearn old habits and embrace new techniques. I'm finding there's a major difference between having a voice and being a singer.
Dave Navarro is a great pleasure to work with. I've never met a more humble, genuine, caring, down-to-earth bad ass in my life. I asked Dave if he would work on some art for a tattoo for my arm. Nothing cooler than having a rock and roll God design a tattoo for you … Thanks Dave … July 2005 July 28thGreat energy in the Mansion! After the Wednesday elimination show we all were of course sad to see Daphna and Heather go, but we realized we made it to the top ten. What a great accomplishment for all of us.
I think from this point forward individual performances will improve. It takes time to adjust.
My first 3 performances are a blur, all nerves. Now that I've settled, I'm ready to tear it up. July 2005 July 27thS#*t F%$k Damn… I sucked! "Tempted" is a beautiful, wonderful song. I couldn’t do it any justice. I'm very disappointed how my performance turned out, I know I can sing that song, for whatever reason I panicked just before I went on stage. As I was standing there just before Brooke announced me I had to ask Suzie to remind me of the lyrics.
I worked hard with MiG, God bless the lad, and Suzie to get prepared for the song. Problem was I prepared too much and over-thought the vocal melodies. I thought INXS was correct with their feedback regarding my performance. It wasn't my best. Part of me is happy I didn't have a strong vocal performance. It put things in perspective again. I'm a classic rock, Southern rock, bluesy, soulful singer. I've always sung music that was left open for interpretation. So I took a gamble and tried to sing “Tempted” exactly like it was recorded. I should have made the song fit me as a vocalist by changing the key or sticking to what I do best, belting away. At least when I got criticized I would have been criticized for being Brandon Calhoon, not a vocal puppet. July 2005 July 25thAlright… Things are heating up you can feel the tension rising as the stakes get higher. I think all of us need to prove our worthiness as Rock artists so the importance of the next song selection is amped. INXS gave us some individual pointers, it's up to us to make adjustments, tweak our performances to show we’re not one-dimensional artists/ vocalists.
I realized how stressful this occupation is after the last elimination show. For whatever reason I just completely broke down. It was like I had all this tension built up and needed a release. Once it started it just kept pouring out.
As the stakes go up I also see a change amongst the cast. J.D. and I are great friends but sometimes it's hard to figure out where he's coming from. The more time I spend with him the more I understand. When he lets his guard down he's incredibly brilliant.
MiG has been an incredible help for me this week. I learned a lot from him vocally. He taught me how to break down a song and listen to the melody as I tend to rush things. July 2005 July 21stWow!! Neal is gone. I’m very surprised. I’m also surprised at how emotional I was afterward. Neal hugged me after and said “no reason for words.” And I just completely lost it. My emotions were out of control for the rest of the night. It was like I was holding all my feelings in for so long, leaving friends, loved ones, hanging your life for this competition. It’s stressful, exhausting, exhilarating, your dream come true all rolled into one.
I can feel the competition changing for me a bit now. I’m more confident, more focused, and in touch with whom I am as a performer and an artist. I don’t feel anxiety or pressure to be somebody I’m not anymore. Our goal is to be the new lead singer of INXS…. not to fill someone else’s shoes. It’s taken us all some getting use to…knowing we’re performing for the world.
I’m going to have fun and do my very best, if my best isn’t good enough, then at least I gave it my all and lived my Rock N Roll fantasy …with a smile!!! July 2005 July 19thIt felt great playing the guitar live on stage again. It's been part of me for so long. It was important for me to show another side of me as an artist even though it was only for a moment. I'm looking forward to showing yet another side of me the next show, if I'm lucky enough to get the chance. Rock On! I can feel myself as an artist growing each week. My heart and soul will always stay grounded. That's one thing I'm very confident about. I know where I come from! And I will not forget! July 2005 July 14thGlory, glory hallelujah…the songs for next week are selected and no one gauged out any eye balls. In fact it was pretty painless. I chose a rockin’ song which fit my style to a "T." Lynard Skynard has been an unbelievable inspiration to me so singing "Sweet Home Alabama" will be an honor. The singer of Skynard never wore shoes on stage; he said he wanted to feel the raw vibrations of the music. How fitting I will be singing his song, I haven't worn shoes on stage yet through this competition, and in honor of him I will again sing barefoot. Had a great 30th birthday party for Daphna last night, so great I'm still feeling the effects, a bit disoriented if you catch my drift. We all dressed up, drank beer and wine and just enjoyed one another's company. Neal, Tara, and I wrote and sang her a song to top off the festivities. Ty & Marty participated as well adding extra vocal and rhythm harmonies….I have to say it turned out well. It's amazing how quickly a song comes together when you're around such incredible inspiring musicians. Neal has been inspiring me as of late. His style and musical direction is so simple but so direct. The guy is rarely seen without a guitar in his hand. It's fun working with him our styles compliment each other well. He's like the funky lead rocker guy & he's the slow steady rhythm lord from hell I think I'm bustin out the electric guitar this week also. I hope this decision doesn't backfire on me though. This competition isn't about being the lead guitarist for INXS it's to be the lead singer I'm well aware of that. I just hope INXS and the world is open to us sharing our other musical colors. It's a risk I'm willing to take. Not to be chosen in the bottom three Wednesday was a relief. But at the same time I felt the hearts of Will, Tara and Suzie…it was time to lay it on the line…all chips in. I thought everyone stepped up to the plate and cranked, but in the end INXS made the right decision. Will is a great singer songwriter but not a definition of Rock & Roll at least in terms of turning up the heat and giving it some attitude. You know what…Bottom Line! I'm the luckiest human being that ever dreamt of playing Rock music. Going from singing to a 100 people to hundreds of thousands of people is simply mind blowing. For the first time in my life I can honestly say, I'm where I belong!!!Dreams if not swept under the rug can become reality. I'm livin proof…God Bless Rock! July 2005 Rock Star:INXSI anticipate 15 people pushing the limits of one another musically and spiritually. Imagine 15 painters or writers living and competing for months on end -- you’re gonna see some amazing things. I expect to see people sharing ideas, writing music and building strong relationships. What I don't see happening is unproductive, insensitive drama. Lets face it, we’re all musicians and we’re all respectful to one another’s differences and talents, whether it is vocally or lyrically. I've never met a musician that wished they couldn't sing better or play better - it's what makes us all admire each other and grow. |
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